Convincing Parents to allow a trip to Europe

[Student in Texas]

My friend and I (both female) are trying to plan a trip for europe after our senior year in high school, for roughly a month, maybe two. The only thing standing in our way is that my parents firmly believe I will die while in Europe. We would like to do some backpacking, some hostelling, and sightseeing. Our destinations would include Italy, Spain, France, England, Germany, Switzerland, etc. Does anyone have any advice on how to convince parents that such a trip would be safe? Or better yet, know of any websites or books that contain facts about low crime, death, and kidnapping rates? Or have any good arguments about the educational value of such a trip? Thanks a lot!

[me]

don't know your parents, but it might impress them if you do plenty of research, getting lots of info, and are able to make a very solid plan about your travels.

i remember when i was younger, my dad was adamant that i not "float" in europe, going from place to place w/o a firm plan of where i would be going next. and promise them that you'll call/e-mail regularly.

i've read (in Rick Steves, i think) that the most dangerous part of any given europe trip is the drive to the airport for the flight out. US roads are more dangerous than most anything you'll come across in Europe.

[googleygoo]

I don't know of any statistics about crime in Europe, but
the best way to convince your parents is if you're able to pay for everything yourself. Then the only thing they can do to keep you is to literally lock you up somewhere ;D

I'd try to negotiate with them. If 2 months is too long for them, see if 1 month will do. That's better than not getting to go at all.

Give them contact info for the hostels where you're planning on staying and see if your parents are willing to pay for a cellphone, if they're really that worried.

[LHR02]

I totally agree with the above...as a parent myself I can sympathize with what yours are feeling just now. I'd say the vest way is to have firm reliable plans and itenerary. You'll need to carefully and fully plan this one out..you can 'float' on the next trip. Exactly where you are going, for how long, where you will be staying in case they want to reach you and firm contact plans. I will call at such and such a time every other day, every Thursday...whatever makes them happy. Having an address and phone number of where you could be reached will also ease their minds I would think. Better still if you have an 'international' cell phone that they can call you whenever your Mom gets that worried lump of stone in her belly. ;D They will likely need loads of reassurance for this...you have to work to provide it and prove you are responsible enough to create and follow a plan.

good luck!

[Student]

Thanks for all the advice. I may try and have a good itinerary planned, but I don't think thats the problem, because they believe that I am responsible, they just don't trust other people to leave me alone, which doesn't necessarily hinge on where I am. But cell phones and a set address might help.

[Eagle]

There are some good tips in the previous posts, but to add to this I suspect that your Parents are worried as they're not familiar with travelling in Europe (fear of the "unknown" -- have they ever been there?). That's not to say that it isn't dangerous at all, but the majority of people who travel there have no problems at all (including female travellers). From what I've heard (again, Rick Steves probably) it's statistically safer in Europe than it is in the U.S.!!! There does seem to be more "petty crime" (pickpocketing, etc.--be sure to wear a money belt!) than in North America, but most travellers don't have seem to have many problems.

As a parent, I certainly agree with the points raised by Dustoffmom. Having a good plan is not only a good safety factor, but will also ensure that you don't waste either time or money on your trip. In addition, it will ensure that the "basics" are covered -- safe, affordable lodging, food, etc.

If you think that travelling with a Cell Phone might be something you are interested in, check out some of the posts on this Board (can't remember if they're in the "Tips & Advice" section, or "Odds & Ends"?). If you need any further information on Cell phones, post another note.

I would strongly recommend that you read "Europe Through The Back Door" (available at www.ricksteves.com ), as I found that to be extremely helpful in my own case. Your parents might like to read it also? While a lot of Rick's philosophy is aimed at the middle-aged travellers, there is still an enormous amount of useful information there that applies to anyone wishing to travel in Europe. Your parents might also enjoy watching his T.V. shows on your local PBS station, as this could dispel some of their fears.

If it's any consolation, my parents are still quite worried about me travelling in Europe on my own, even though I'm over 50 and larger in stature (to put it politely)!!!

You might want to register on this Board, as I think it would be of great benefit to you while you're planning your trip. There is LOTS of information here on everything from choosing the proper Backpack, booking Hostels and Eurail Passes to which types of ATM cards work best, etc.

Hope these comments have been of some help. Good luck with this, and hope your trip becomes a reality soon!!!

[LHR02]

Student....won't you register and give us a monikor to call you and remember you by?........there are many females here who have traveled Europe either with a friend or alone. You'll find few horror stories because frankly as a group we've actually not encountered many, if any. Perhaps you should get your folks on line here and allow us to help allievate at least some of the fears they have? I've walked alone and late at night all over in London, Rome, Paris, many many cities and felt perfectly safe as long as I stayed out of areas where my antennaes were zinging. Sad to say there is no way I would walk around alone late at night here in my own city in Fl...nor would I in most US cities. For the most part Europe is much safer than here in our country and with basic good sense you will be perfectly fine.

ging

[WillTravel]

Great tips above. Maybe your parents would feel more convinced if your trip did have a formal educational component. These are more expensive, for sure, but if you were studying a language or history, etc. they might feel more confident.

Also, although I don't normally suggest tours, in large part because they're more expensive than doing trips on your own with careful planning, your parents might feel more comfortable if you did take a tour. You would still see and experience a lot this way.

And most importantly, as stated above, earn as much money as you can independently!

[jennifer]

Maybe joining a tour for the first week or so would make them feel better. You wouldn't be alone in your first European steps, it may help them feel more secure knowing that by the time the tour is over, you'll be familiar with Europe enough to keep going on your own!
xoxo
Jen

[LHR02]

But be careful which tour you choose! Some of these groups can be pretty rowdy and drunken! I'd rather my gal was alone than on some of these! She and you might well have a better timne but doubt your parents would share that opinion.

[jennifer]

Yes ok I agree, but not all tours are like Contiki hehehehe

[Brady]

Ok, I registered. Thanks everyone for the great advice! I will have to try some of it out on my parents. Also, any great cities or places that would be fun to visit, or must see? I cant 'oficially' start planning until I have parental approval, but... Thanks again for all the suggestions.

[SkysTheLimit]

I'm apparently not computer literate, and wasn't logged in for the last post. Oh well. :-)

[Eagle]

Welcome to the Board! In answer to your question about which places to visit, I'll try and offer a few suggestions based on some favourites on this Board:

> ENGLAND: London, Bath, York
> SCOTLAND: Edinburgh
> BELGIUM: Bruges
> HOLLAND: Amsterdam
> FRANCE: Paris, Provence area, Riviera?
> GERMANY: Munich (and area - Neuschwanstein Castle, etc.), Berlin, Romantic Road (Rothenburg). Perhaps Dresden?
> SWITZERLAND: Gimmelwald (check out the pre-travel section -- Curious Toronto has some great comments on that destination!)
> ITALY: (always a favourite!) Rome, Florence (Dustoffmom can provide any info you need), Venice (some varying opinions on this), Tuscany (Siena, etc.), Naples & Amalfi Coast, Sicily. I will be visiting the Lake Como area on my next trip, but I don't think this is a "favourite" -- just somewhere I really want to see (must be a popular area though, as George Clooney bought a mansion there!).
> SPAIN: Barcelona, Seville, Granada
> CZECH REPUBLIC: Prague
> HUNGARY: Budapest
> GREECE: Greek Islands (not sure if you'll have time for this?) Check out www.yhplakias.com as it looks like a great location.

When planning your trip, it's a good idea to use "open jaw" flights, where you fly to your first destination, and return home from a different city. This is usually a bit more expensive, but saves you the trouble and expense of returning to your starting point. Talk to a travel agent, rather than booking these on the net. I find that either beginning or ending your trip in the U.K. is a good idea, as there are lots of flights to either Heathrow or Gatwick (and often Manchester in the summer).

You might also want to check www.raileurope.com as this can be a good resource to plan your rail travel. There's a rail route planner somewhere on the web also, but I can't remember the web address for it (hopefully someone else will be able to provide this). One other point -- travel by rail with a pass is usually the most cost effective and quickest, and also allows you to see some of the scenery. However, on longer distances it's sometimes better to use one of the budget airlines (Ryanair, etc. -- there's a list on this site somewhere?). Keep in mind though, there are certain "pitfalls" to using these airlines (ie: once booked, you can't change your mind and get a refund, often located in out-of-the-way airports, have to book well in advance, etc.).

As far as route planning, use a map and try to establish a logical route, so that you don't have to "backtrack" too much. In some cases, using a night train is a good idea -- you miss some scenery but arrive at a new location ready to tour. Using a couchette is a good option, but these have to be reserved and are not included in the basic cost of a railpass. Some trains (such as the TGV) also require a reservation. DON'T forget to validate your railpass when you arrive (details on this should be provided with the pass).

Have you given any thought to the language issue? I don't believe you'll have any problems with using English, but you'll get a better response if you can speak at least a few words in the "local" language. Again, check the Rick Steves web site that I mentioned earlier, as he offers some very useful Phrase Books.

If you want to travel with a Cell Phone, Dustoffmom would be the best qualified to advise on which U.S. Carriers work best (T-Mobile works well, I believe). If you don't have a phone now, you must have at least a tri-band GSM Phone (quad-band would be a better idea though).

If you haven't bought a Backpack yet, check out the hints on the home page of this site. Kim can certainly describe what can happen when one travels with a "bargain" Backpack! When you're deciding what to take with you, keep the PACK LIGHT philosophy foremost in your mind!

If you will be taking any electrical devices with you (digital Cameras, MP3 Players or whatever), you will have to ensure these are designed to operate on the different (higher) voltage used in Europe. At the very least, Plug Adapters will be required (check your local Radio Shack store for these -- they're really inexpensive). If you need any further info on this, post another note.

Finally, look through the Rick Steves web site (the Graffiti Wall provides some interesting reading) and also www.lonelyplanet.com as there's lots of great information out there. You might also check www.backpackeurope.com as that site is owned by a girl from Texas. Don't forget to budget for travel medical insurance!

Good luck with your trip planning! Cheers!!!

[Nicstar]

Guest-Brady said:

I cant 'oficially' start planning until I have parental approval, but... Thanks again for all the suggestions.

yes you can officially start planning! IN fact as everyone above has said, if you've got it planned and can show your parents your first idea at an itinerary, time frame, budget, etc, it would work in your favour as opposed to "I wanna go travelling somewhere in Europe". In fact they might even sit down and look at it with you and offer to help you plan it even further!