The Kicker - convincing my parents

[cherish]

So, I am in the baby steps of planning a grand trip to Europe. I am an 18 year old female who at the moment will be backpacking alone. However, my parents don't think it's such a hot idea. It is something I really want to do, while I have the money (I took a year off and worked) and before I go to college. Any suggestions to anybody who's been in this position before? Or, Maybe it is a bad idea for me to go myself?

[Eagle]

cherish, I can certainly understand the apprehension of your parents regarding your trip (I'm a parent myself!), but I DON'T think it's a bad idea for you to travel solo. IMO, if your trip is well planned you shouldn't have any problems. Lots of other 18 y.o. girls travel on their own, and I think it's safe to say that most don't have any difficulties. However, your parents know you better than any of us here, so their opinion should be given some consideration.

This topic has come up on the Boards before, but I'd have to do some searching to find the Threads. My answer now is the same as when I replied previously. Your parents might be less anxious if they could keep in touch with you on a regular basis while you're travelling. If you have the option, perhaps a Cell phone would put their mind at ease (there's lots of information on the Boards regarding travelling with a Cell also).

Hopefully some of the others will have some tips for you as well. Good luck with your planning.

Cheers!!!

[herrbert]

Hi Cherish,

I have to agree with Eagle, as he makes some valid points.

adding to his points ....

Letting them read some of the reports, or blogs from other girls would make them feel more at ease.

I am sure they mean it well, but parents can be a little bit more protective than we sometimes want, especialy in our late teens. Taking a mobile is a good idea in all circumstances, as far as I am concerned.

When you really start planning your trip, consult your parents. Let them have some input, (ideas for cities, or attractions). Make sure, that they know, you are making the right choices as it comes to the route, and the accomodation. In this way, they see you are making a good plan with the right choices.

[pointofnoreturn]

When I was 19 (still in high school because Ontario had the 5 year high school program then), I wanted to go to London in April to see my friends. My parents had never met them or even spoken to them. They forbidden me to go but I said I wanted to do something as part of my H.S. graduation and slowly convinced them (though it took MONTHS!) that I really wanted to do this.

It's just really a matter of being responsible and explaining to them you've done a lot of research and that you won't traipse around in the nighttime, etc. If it helps, give them one of Rick Steves' guidebooks and direct them towards the women travelling alone section. Tell them you'll keep in touch with them all the time and continually update them along the way.

You're 18 years old. You're legal of age (for the most part) and it's really your choice to do this. Originally, I was going to plan my next trip alone and my idea didn't fly with my parents (even though I'm 23!), they felt a lot better when one of my friends wanted to go along with me.

You can always check around your friends to see if any of them are willing to go with you. Sometimes two is better than one!

Another thing... you might want to consider staying in private rooms. I don't think dorm rooms would be safe for you unless you opt for all-female dorm rooms if you can't afford private rooms.

[madamtrashheap]

cherish, all of what the others have posted is great advice - maybe let your parents read this post!

I backpacked around the UK for 2 weeks by myself when I was 17 and travelled parts of Europe (Germany, Belgium, Netherlands, France) by my self as well as with a few friends all before I was 18 (so at least you'll be older!). My parents were (and still are, many years later) concerned, but I kept in regular touch and they knew where I was planning to be. The end result - they ended up coming to visit me later and I was their tour guide, good result all round!

Just take the precautions mentioned in the other posts, use a money belt, be aware of your surroundings, be (or act) confident, don't be too trusting of everyone and consider the type of accommodation you'll prefer (PONR's point is a v good one). You will meet other travellers (esp. women) along the way, so you won't be alone if you don't want to be. I can only recommend going: it will be the start of a life of travelling and expanding your horizons and will give you a better perspective on the world before you continue studying (what better place to learn about the world than in it?!!). I completely understand their concern, I hope you can all come to the best agreement.

[WillTravel]

I have to admit that when I was in Amsterdam in August 2005 when I saw many groups of young people, some definitely under 21, from all over the world who were sitting at the various coffeeshops in the Spui district, I wondered what their parents might be thinking if they knew where their hard-earned money was going. Is it possible that these were self-funded trips - possibly, but I doubt it was in all cases. Of course it's also possible their parents were all enthusiastic endorsers of the concept - again, I doubt it .

Anyway, my point is - will your parents think you are going to Europe to learn more about history and culture, or will they think you are going there to party and possibly get yourself into trouble? I think it's reasonable to give them a way to contact you - sending them an email or text message or phone call every day is not too much to ask. Even if you are completely paying for it yourself, your parents will still feel very responsible for you. And to state the obvious, being intoxicated or impaired while solo traveling seems like a bad idea - if your parents feel confident you won't let that happen, I imagine they would feel much more reassured.

[pointofnoreturn]

One more thing to add to the most... you could ask your parents to splurge for a phone card with lots of minutes on it that way you can talk to them at the end of every day. Once they see how much you really want to do this, I'm sure they'll realize it's a dream you want to do and they'll start supporting you.

Parents just want you to be safe. They're not evil. They just worry a lot more than other people do

[world2002traveler]

Hi Cherish,

Don't concern yourself about traveling alone in europe!
I go every year or two and in my travels have run into
many single females around your age, just use your common sense. The same as you would back home, use that good
judgement to find people that will help you, and there are
many. Have a great time and the experience of a lifetime.
Go for it and enjoy. If there's anything I can help you with
advice wise, where to go, what to see please let me know
in a pm!

WT

[crystal]

Hey Cherish
I can understand your parents concerns however if this is something you want to do I would highly recommend it. I think the key points are
1) Convince your parent how serious you are by doing your research - plan a rough route, start to look at budgets ect.
2) Plan to be responsible - Like the posters above me have said STAY IN TOUCH. Have a clear method of communication (text, mobile, e-mail) and a timetable of when you will contact home. Silence worries parents!!!
3) Check out your accomodation carefully - no seedy motels outside of the city with mixed dorms. Choose well-known popular backpackers hostels with good reviews and I would also recommend private rooms or female only dorms.
4) Stay safe - There are loads of threads on here about staying safe - money belts, lay off the alcohol, locking vauables away ect ect. Generally europe is a fairly safe place but don't make it easy for criminals. Convincing your parents you are sensible about personal safety could be the deciding vote you are looking for.
5) Make sure your parents know where you are and when - leave your route and all your hostels contact details with them as a back-up in case for what ever reason your communciation plans fail.

In the UK 18yrs is the age most people, who want to, take a gap year (between leaving school and starting uni) so you are not the first to travel at this age and you wouldn't be the last. Traveling alone does pose extra risks but you just have to be sensible and don't put yourself in an unnecessarily dangerous situations. I hope you are able to go on your trip and it is everything you expect and more.

PS Remember parents are human too :-)