Taming my control freak tendencies

[kena]

I'm not sure if it's the right section for this (feel free to move it if it's not), but anyway here's my situation:

I am a very organized traveller. I like to plan my trips months if not years in advance, read about the history and culture, learn the language, etc... To me, half of the pleasure of travelling is the planning part.

This is good to some extent, but it also makes me more stressed out than I should when I travel, and I realize I can be a total pain in the ass to my travel companions. Especially to my boyfriend who has little travel experience and would like to "make his own mistakes" rather than be led by me all the time.

I'd like to learn how to relax and add a more impromptu component to my travels. I'm sure I must miss out on fantastic experiences because I just can't let go of my worries. I'm not willing to compromize on safety, but I could afford to let go on the rest...

Any ideas?

[LHR02]

Hi Kena,
First off, why not register so we all have a 'profile' to work with and can easily remember who you are and what your plans are. Just makes it so much easier on the board than trying to keep 'guests' plans straight.
Secondly, when are you going and where? The length of your trip is crucial in whether you need to plan it out to small details or just wing it. Likewise, the time of year makes a huge difference. Being an off season/winter traveler myself I can much easier wing it than someone going in July. During that time frame reservations and excellent prior planning is almost a must! Likewise, a trip of 2-4 months will allow a good deal of flexibility whereas as trip of 2-4 weeks cries for planning just to insure you are able to visit/see the things you want to with a minimum of backtracking.
At the very least I think it is the general consensus of this board and others that you should have firm reservations for your first night or two and your last night or two. Any time inbetween again depends on where and whn you will be there.
Give us a bit more information and I am certain we can offer you some help!

ging

[Eagle]

KENA, your Post stuck a chord with me when I read it, as I'm somewhat of a "planner" also. I suspect there are "degrees" to this tendency though -- some people may be fanatical about it, others a bit more relaxed. I'm doing much the same as you: lots of planning, trying to learn one of the languages (Italian), and I also agree that planing is part of the enjoyment of the trip.

I've been planning my "ultimate" European vacation for three years+. Much of this is due to the fact that all I can afford to do is plan right now, as that doesn't cost anything. I did get to England this year, and the planning proved to be of immense benefit, as I put the trip together in about four days. Since I already had a comprehensive list of sightseeing attractions,etc. I was able to travel efficiently without wasting a lot of time or money. I suspect I will have to take my "ultimate" vacation in shorter segments though, unless of course I win the Lottery!

I agree with Dustoffmom, in that if you're going to visit here from time-to-time it would be nice to have a profile so that we know a bit about you (and your travel situation).

Cheers!!!

[Libby]

I understand the need to plan. That's my personality too. While I don't mind occassionally winging it, I don't normally enjoy myself as much. I worry..it's a fact of my life.

I'm not leaving for another 3 1/2 months. I have two of my hostels booked (1 paid for), a backpacking tour booked (and paid for!!) and all my passes bought or ordered.

I'm not in a holding pattery. Planning was half the fun. ;D

[WillTravel]

Kena, I think that part of the issue is that you are traveling with someone who has a somewhat different style than you, not so much that your planning is a problem. Maybe you can work it out so that one of you is in charge of part of the trip, and the other is in charge of the other. Then you can just go with the flow and let the other person lead when it's his turn.

My just-completed trip was really planned, and I mostly adhered to it. But sometimes I just felt like doing something different, so I did. I had alternative ideas in mind so I wasn't flying blind when I felt like doing something different.

[Paco]

I experienced much the same situation as you considering I am a rampant planner and my wife is much more laid back. What we did was I planned part of our trip (which is a little more rigidly laid out due to time constraints) and she planned the more laid back section of our trip. It seemed to work out pretty well and it made planning fun for both of us. We will put the plan to the test in less than a month.