HUGE DECISION!!!

[xandra]

AHHH I have 2 days to make a Gigantic decision!!!
I currently live in Southern Ontario with my boyfriend (and various other roomates) & work in a hair salon.

I've been offered an amazing job out in Banff, Alberta & I have to call them on Thursday with my decision! AHH!!

Career-wise it's the best thing I can do! The pay is great, the job is great, everything is great... except Mat can't come with me

I want to go regardless because out of the 3 1/2 years we've been together we did almost 2 years of long distance (approximately 7 hour drive apart) but this is the other side of the country!!!!

Sorry if I'm jumping around alot. It's hard for me to form complete thoughts right now.

Mat said he wants me to go & I do too

But.....

[me]

i'd suggest you give it a try for 6 months. if you're miserable, couldn't you just move back to Southern Ontario?

[Patrick]

what does he do? Is he in school stilll, is it possible for him to relocate afterwards?

Either way, I would probably take the job if I were in your situation as long as you don't have a problem leaving family behind as well (presuming you have family living nearby)

Nothing says it has to be permanent anyways, try it out.

[dumbdiety]

You can always try it out! What prevents your BF from joining you? Can he come in a few months time?

[Jules80]

I say go for it! What is this fabulous new job,btw? One of my friends is currently living in Vancouver working and her husband is doing a post-doc at harvard and they're making it work. Both had incredible opportunities that neither wanted the other to give up. you can always move back if it doesn't work.

[xandra]

The job is to be a hairstylist at the Fairmont Banff Sorings resort. The spa is among the best in Canada!

Unfortunately Mathew can't join me because he is running his own business here in Guelph. He's put too much into it to give up right now.

You all have a point with the whole I can come home if I hate it thing.

It IS the best thing to do job-wise.... plus he wants me to go too. AND I'll get to see him about once a month (which really isn't THAT bad)

Hmmmmm..... I'm pretty close to a decision. Just gotta work a few things out with myself first. (for some reason I can't get myself to give a definite answer even though I know what I want to do....)

[me]

is Matt's business in Guelph not the kind of thing that could eventually be moved? some things can still be done at a distance. he might fall for the place once he visits you there.

as lucrative as this opportunity sounds for you, i'd be hesitant to pass on it without some serious thought.

[Jules80]

sounds like a wondeful opportunity! and once a month isn't too bad either!

[Eagle]

xandra, you are facing a very difficult decision indeed!!! The others have made some good points -- it wouldn't hurt to try it out for a while, and perhaps Mathew could eventually relocate his business. I'm sure the job would pay well, as the "well heeled" clientele in Banff would no doubt offer some huge tips!

However, even though you might be able to get back to Guelph at least once a month (WestJet from Calgary?), you might find that the time and expense of taking that trip on a regular basis starts to "wear" on you after a while. There's also the risk that with such infrequent contact you both start to "drift apart" eventually. When you move, you will change to some extent due to the different environment and life experiences.

None of us here know how close your relationship is with Mathew, and how likely this will be to "weather" an extended separation. Although he is telling you to take the job, I suspect in some ways he would prefer that you stay. Have you discussed this with both of your parents?

If you don't take this opportunity, you will probably always regret the decision and wonder "what if". The ideal solution would be for Matt to sell or wrap-up his business and move west with you. It might take a few months, but Alberta is the "land of opportunity" right now so it might eventually prove to be a good move for both of you.

Sorry to offer less than an enthusiastic recommendations and advice, but I've done a lot of moving and have experienced the strains this can put on a relationship.

Good luck!!!

[xandra]

I want to thank everyone for their input (even you Eagle! lol) I went through everything and finally made a decision.... I'm moving to Banff!!!
I'm going to kick myself & wonder what if for the rest of my life if I don't give it a try. If I hate it I can come home & if I love it, well then Mat will probably come out with me. I need to give it a try first. No point in him selling his business to have us hate it out west!
So now I have less than 4 weeks to give my notice at work, pack & visit all sorts of friends and family members before I go....
February 20th is coming fast!!

[me]

good for you, Xandra! nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

- d

[Eagle]

xandra, I AM pleased that you decided to try out the opportunity in Banff; as I mentioned previously if you didn't make the move, you would likely be haunted by the "what if" for the rest of your life. My previous reply wasn't meant to discourage you from this, but just to bring up a few points that I've discovered in my experience (and the experience of several friends and family members).

I'm sure it's going to be an adventure for you, and I suspect you're getting quite excited in anticipating the new life that awaits you. Good luck with your new job, and hope it turns out to be everything you imagined.

Cheers!!!

[Kim]

Sounds like a great opportunity, I'm glad you are taking it! And what a great place to be moving to - wow! I think both you and Mat are doing the right thing - go and try it out and if you like it, then you can consider what to do about his situation.

Kim

[Jules80]

sounds awsome xandra!!! good luck with the move! banff is supposed to be beautiful!

Jules

[stanncie]

HI xandra, sorry I'm late for this topic

I want to congratulate you in your new job and big move. I wish you all the luck in the world. I'm a big believer in fate as some posters know, and I believe you and your boyfriend will remain together if it's meant to be.